Oh this was a hard morning

7th January 2016

This particular morning was a hard and challenging  one. In less than 2 hours so many things happened with me that I myself was astounded.

This morning I had an urgency to get a color print of a document in order to submit it in my University by 9 am. That document was in my laptop but only two days ago my laptop had broken down.

But I had that document in my email too. So I opened my gmail in my android phone. The Internet was slow. I found the file and hit download. It didn’t start. I tried again. It started. 1%, 2%, …………..52%, 53%, ‘DOWNLOAD CANCEL’.

Four more times I tried again but the file didn’t download. So I changed my device. Again the Internet was slow. Here too I could open my gmail but still couldn’t download the file.

Slowly this was reaching its extreme; I mean it was getting really hard just to download a word file with such mainstream devices.

So I tried again. And with a little luck I finally I downloaded the word file. I opened it. It opened but was showing objects rather than words. I turned the pages. There I could see the literature of the file so I thought that it is just not supported here.

Now I couldn’t print it directly from the device so I had to transfer it to a computer. But my laptop wasn’t operating and moreover I had recently lost my pen drive so I had to transfer the file to my android.

After transferring I took my android and headed out for the University. By then it was already 7:30.

I carpooled from my home till Tangal. There I got on a tempo. Now, in my daily commute I never used to take the tempo but today I did, partly because it was the first public vehicle to get there. However, the tempo was full and there was already a guy hanging at the back. And then there were the two of us.

As I was hanging I had clasped my one hand inside the tempo and the other one was gripping at the door frame. And the mist-full air was hitting me hard on my face. Slowly my hands were getting tired. I had to change their places. I changed. Found little salvation. Got tired again. Changed their places again.

For the next 10-12 minutes this interchange continued. On the way the tempo had already passed more than 4 stops but no one was getting down. And I was getting really cold. Then finally the tempo stopped at clock tower Ghantaghar. I was so relieved. At least it won’t be so cold inside the tempo. So, blowing warm air in my hands, I entered the tempo.

I was sitting on the left ledge of the tempo. As usual I looked at all the passengers. First to my left. Most of them were women with few men. And then I glanced to my right. There at the top seat on the opposite ledge I saw a girl. By her dress I could say that she was a nursing student. She was looking out of the window so I couldn’t see her face.

Then suddenly she turned her face and my heart skipped a beat. So beautiful she was. There is no depth in any literature that could give justice to her rich beauty. The color of her big eyes were brown with pink eye lids. Her eye lashes were so straight and long. With her every blink I got more and more eluded.

Likewise, her cheeks were little red, maybe because of the weather, just like a cherry ready to ripe. Her lips were pinkish and her skin was white. Oh, she must look ravishing in red. Her long black hair reached till her shoulder and brushed her every time she moved. Her hands were long and thin with cute fingernails. She had worn a skin color nail polish and was so suiting her. I just wanted to sit there and continue to admire her. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. It would not have been fair. Not so respectful.

However I didn’t loose any chance of looking at her. Most of the time she faced towards the windshield, and whenever she turned back I looked away.

In her presence time seemed so still and the road seemed too short. Without my knowledge the tempo had already crossed the Thapathali bridge. And then I heard the sweetest voice ever, in my knowledge of course. She said “Dai, Juwagal cha hai” (Please stop the tempo, this is my stop).

Then the tempo driver steered a little towards the left and stopped. She stood and was making her way out. Her left hand brushed my shoulder. I moved a little and she passed and climbed down.

My eyes were set on her. The Tempo was in motion again. She was walking the other way. Just then a Micro van came and she turned. Maybe someone called her name. Now the micro van was blocking my view. I had to tilt my body a little on my legs in order to see her. Even though I was in a sitting position I was actually leaning on my legs. Now, whatever be the reason for her to turn back I am so thankful. Because when she turned and looked at someone at her back she smiled. Smiled with her pink lips and pearly teeth. When I saw that I was so dumbfounded that I just forgot of myself leaning and collapsed on the seat. “Bump!!!!!”.

By then she was out of sight. I thought about her for sometime and then I remembered that I was running on a errand to color print a document. The tempo dropped me at Mangalbazar and from there I walked till Satrobato’s photocopy station.

Just outside the photocopy station a huge crowd had gathered. Apparently a fortune teller had misbehaved with a local street vendor and the public was going crazy. I wanted to observe that but I had an urgent matter to cover so I walked inside the photocopy station.

And just as I entered I remembered that I had forgotten to bring the android’s datacable. There was a lady who was in-charge of that place. I told her that I needed to color print but forgot to bring the data cable. She gave me hers. I connected it. I opened my file. Then came a dialog box saying ‘the file is corrupted’. ‘Ahh!’

Well, I still had it in my email so not a lot of worries. I checked for Internet. The cable was connected but the server had limited access. I troubleshooted. Once….. Twice…… Thrice…… No luck.

Till then the lady was busy with other stuff. After that she went inside in the other office. After sometime she came back saying that the router inside was off. Immediately then I looked at the computer, Internet was connected.

I opened the browser. Typed gmail.com. Hit enter. Nothing happened. After that I lost the count of how many times I hit enter but gmail wasn’t loading. Just then the lady came, took the mouse in her hand and did something and the Internet started working.

Then came two college girls in the photocopy station. While I was opening gmail they shoved their pen drive in the computer I was using so I had to stop and let them print.

The lady was busy with other customers when the girls called her. They asked the lady to print but they were not sure which one to print and how many to print. They were terribly confused and taking a lot of time to decide. The lady got violently irritated because it was costing her time and business with other customers.

But finally those girls decided and the lady printed it and got rid of them. And then I resumed my work on the computer again. As soon as I opened the browser, I again hit enter. This time it loaded. I signed in. Clicked download. In a few seconds the download was complete.

I opened the file, MS Word opened but in a very small box and I was about to click the maximize button when a thought passed my head, ‘The file has downloaded, and will be printed in a few minutes. It can’t be so simple. Something has to go wrong’. And just as I clicked the maximize button, ‘BEEP!!!’. The light went out.

Then the lady exclaimed ‘inverter’s charge is finished!’ Uff….

Now the time was pressing up. It was already 8:45 when the lights went out and I had to submit the print by 9.

There was a growing threat in my heart that I might not be able to submit it in time. But I maintained my peace. Just then I saw that not all lights had gone out. There were two electric sockets that still had light. I was wondering that this might be the way when the lady came and plugged the computer’s plug in the socket which still had light. Then, well it was printed. But I was late. By the time it printed it was already 08:54.

I paid and thanked the lady for patiently assisting me and ran out.

From Satdobato I again carpooled, thanks to the guy who obliged, and reached my University by 08:59. I rushed to submit my paper to my instructor. But I couldn’t find him. I asked the guard and he then informed me that my instructor wasn’t here yet. At this point I got really annoyed because all my effort was in vain. And with a heavy heart I went to my class for which I was already late.

However, this was an interesting turn of events. For all the things that happened this morning were really able to teach me some valuable lessons. Like; we do not have control over all the things that happen (the higher power does). Sometimes things happen exactly as you predict them, not for the better but for the worst. And most importantly, in times of turmoil, all we can do is not loose hope and continue to believe in ourselves.

And finally, I’d like give away my sincere gratitude to: the lady of the photocopy station, the two nice men who obliged to give me lift and to you who read this blog entry till the end.

I got trapped. I broke out..

Today was Holi. A festival of colors. I myself was very excited about it. Had a full day of fun activities planned. Who would have known that in the midst of all the excitement I would have to succumb to fear, turmoil and panic.

As per the plan I went to my University to celebrate Holi. Whole day we celebrated. After finishing I, along with my friends, went to the Invisible Cafe (Invisible being its name not its characteristics) to have lunch. I had brought spare clothes with me in my bag. After having lunch I told my friends that I will shortly be back and went to the university to change.

I reached to the university and went to the bathroom on its far-western corner. I got inside and locked the door. It was dark. There was little bit of daylight coming through the one and only window, which was way to small. There was also a non-transparent glass on the upper shelf of the door through which little light was passing.

There I changed my clothes and packed my bag. Then I carried my bag and was ready to go home. I had plans for the evening and was looking forward for it.

I unlocked the door and pulled. But to my amazement it didn’t open. Now that was strange. I looked at the lock. It turns out: there were locks. And I had unlocked the one that I hadn’t locked. That was the normal kind of door locks that are used in Nepal. The one that I had locked was a sophisticated key-lock with the key entrance on the front and a lock system on the back.

I turned the lock but it wasn’t unlocking. I thought a certain kind of technique might be required to unlock it. So I pushed the lock up and turned: ‘click’ it unlocked. I pulled the door but it would still not open.

Then I stopped. I thought of giving the lock another look but this time with a flash. By using flash I could see that somehow the lock hadn’t completely unlocked and was still blocking its passage. I needed something slim yet hard like a ruler to push it upwards. But I had no such thing with me. I searched for such a tool inside the bathroom. There was nothing.

I turned off the flash and thought of giving a call to someone. But today was Holi and none of my friends were carrying their phones with them. Ahh..but then I remembered that my friend Asim had. I typed him name in my phone-book. Turns out I don’t have his number. Uff…..

A sudden fear rushed into my heart.

I became so angry on myself and the situation I was in. With all my energy I tried to push the door. And when I failed I tried pulling the door. But nothing was working. And that tired me down.

I felt so helpless and alone. Until now I was busy in figuring a way out but when my body grew tired my mind became active. With every passing minute my situation got more and more intimidating. First, I experienced difficulty in breathing. It was like there was no oxygen for me to breathe. Then I felt as if the walls are closing in around me. Was I claustrophobic? Because those were the first signs of claustrophobia.

My heartbeat increased dramatically. I could fell my heart pounding inside my chest. I was on the verge of a panic attack when I saw a ray of hope coming through the non-transparent glass that was on the upper shelf of the door. Yes. That glass was my way out. But I had no prior experience in breaking glasses. I had only seen it in movies. But then again I was so desperate to get out.

So I stood on the left side of the door, curled my right hand into a fist and was about to hit the glass when I stopped. Stopped to think. I asked to myself, ‘am I really going to do this? I don’t even know if I can do this or not’. But I had to try. So without giving it a second thought I hit it with my best shot. And ‘CLANG’, my fist smashed the glass and a part of it fell on the floor. Blood started to drip from my hand but I didn’t feel any pain what I did feel was relieved.

Now I could breathe in the fresh air again. But I was still not out. The job was only half done. I had only broken a part of the glass and I still had to take the rest of the glass out. I was doing so when Kul dai came. He saw my state and I explained him my situation. He was partly shocked. I was partly shocked. Never knew I had such power. Then he brought a butcher’s knife and told me to use it exactly how I wanted to use the ruler, if I had one. And in no time I was actually out and free.

After coming out I glanced back at the broken glass and somehow felt so powerful. But what was I to do with my new found power, I do not know. What I do know is that we, humans, are capable of doing the unthinkable in order to survive and be free. Just like me.